I suppose when your life gets turned upside down for a while, relative peace and bliss can feel really odd. The only contra of being glad that the bad stuff is over is that it makes worry that it'll come back, even when nothing's going wrong. It's like being afraid to sleep because you might have a nightmare.
As such, I've been awake since 4:30.
There's nothing going wrong. I keep telling myself that. My family is safe and secure, my friends are wonderful, open, loving, safe and health. And, frankly, so am I. What am I so damn scared of?
The problem with feeling this way is that I tend to shy away from things and people that I love. God forbid anyone get close enough to see what happens when it all hits the fan. I'm sorry if I haven't called or hung out with you, if you happen to be reading this. I'll be better soon. I promise.
On a semi-related note, it's been 18 months today. A year-and-a-half. Rest in peace, Kristin. Today I celebrate being in much better shape that I was 18, 12, and 6 months ago.
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