Serendipity

Ever stop and wonder how you got where you are?

Not in a bad, wistful sort of way; not "oh, where have I gone wrong and what have I done to deserve this?" More like, "I don't deserve any of this. Who am I that I would have been so blessed, that I would have such good things that I don't deserve?"

If any of my life had been different: if I'd grown up in a different city, if I'd gone to a different high school or college, if I'd joined a different program, taken different classes, met different people, how it all would be different. Would I be as happy? Would I have the things in my life that I wish for? Would the beautiful people and things that give me happiness now be missing as a result?

It's weird to think about: if this person hadn't died, if things hadn't happened to my family, if I hadn't walked down this street on this particular day and met someone, if I'd lived somewhere else, etc.

And the answer is that of course things would be different. If I'd made different decisions when I came to college, and even in my daily life, I wouldn't know the people I know now- I wouldn't have these blessings in my life. Strange to think about, how narrowly I could have missed it all.

Some would say that it was all up to chance, that everyone chooses their own path and then walks it, but (obviously) I think it's something bigger. "I am the master of all hearts, My child, and I lead them gently where I please. I will place about you those who are necessary to you; never fear!"

Call it good luck, serendipity, or whatever you want. I think of where it all came from, and I am just overwhelmed and thankful. The path I've been given to walk is so different from the one I thought I would have. I could never have foreseen my life the way it is now, and until I got here I didn't really realize that this is where I'm really meant to be.

The Supreme Author of life needs no editor, but it's difficult sometimes to sit back and let Him write. But He already knows the story, knows where it will go and how it ends. It's a beautiful story, one that I'm happy to let Him write, as He clearly knows what He's doing better than I do.

What we have was placed about us and prescribed to us for a reason. A tiny change in circumstance could have altered the entire course of my life (who am I to say that that isn't what altered the course of my life?), but the fact remains that the life I've had is exactly the one I was supposed to have. Even if it's so good that I don't feel worthy.