Il dolce far niente

Now that all of the Holy Week craziness has settled down, I am allowed a few days of comp time-- that is, I took my normal two days off, and since I've earned about five more (between the whole days off that I had to work, plus the extra hours that I worked), I'm taking the week off until Saturday. Then next week, I'll work all week and then go on retreat over the weekend, and I will have (hopefully) fully recovered from the craziness of Lent.


But here's the thing-- after spending Easter and Easter Monday with my family, I retreated home for some sleep and relaxation. Which I think I'm entitled to do. But there's this nagging guilt that I must be productive during this time off-- I must run x miles each day of vacation, I must read at least three novels, I must do this, I must do that... and then I get disappointed in myself for not accomplishing all of it.


But what is this guilt for? I worked like a crazy person all through Triduum and Easter morning; I need a break! And since I've more than earned my time off, I shouldn't feel badly that I don't feel like running every day, or if I just want to listen to music, or cook, or watch a movie, or knit... and if I feel too overwhelmed from the past month, I shouldn't push myself during my down time.


So, at least for these couple of days, I'm trying to embrace 

il dolce far niente; or "pleasant idleness." I'll be back to work on Saturday, and back for real next Wednesday, but until then intend to just relax and enjoy a bubble bath, some dinner, a movie, and whatever else I happen to want until my little mini-vacation is over.